Game 137 - Shadow Warrior Redux - Week X - May 24

hadow Warrior Redux is a remaster of the original, and not something I ever planned to play. I felt satiated enough with the reboot and the original seems tacky like Duke Nukem, but without the nostalgia to draw me in  and the novel alien and experimental weapons of that game; nor the humorous levels. I was not mistaken. The game is a cheesy doom clone. Lo Wang our protagonist, looks like an old man and makes perverted jokes about hentai girls. Basically Master Roshi with guns. The jokes never land and are clearly meant to appeal to your average teen. 

The weapons lack personality and outside the basic fist, katana and shuriken, which don't get me wrong are awesome and feel awesome, but they aren't enough. The remainder don't really fit the ninja theme at all and their design looks horrible. The Rocket launcher and shotgun in particular are ugly. The sticky bomb and uzis are cool and do fit the "neo ninja" theme in their own way. The stick bomb in particular has this slick animation where the spikes pop out when you draw it. Implying Lo Wang throws it so hard that it sticks to enemies by impaling them. Funny enough I had the most with the grenade launcher. Pre-firing enemies and ricocheting off walls. But that just might be the OG Quake fan in me. The ripper heart which creates a clone of you and the head of the Guardian which you cut off a fire blasting enemy, in turn using their fire to blast others are cool. But too underutilized and usually saved for bosses every 3-4 levels. The ninja tools are pretty awesome and help set it apart a little. Smoke bombs, flash bangs, caltrops, night vision, and a portable med kit. I don't remember any other boomer shooters having this and it certainly adds another layer of tactical depth. 

The level design is pretty standard and the theme is as you'd expect with Monkey monasteries, forests and Eastern style buildings mixed with urban jungles. A lot of the levels are hard to navigate and have a reliance on secrets to progress, which is thematic but unfortunately just annoying. I think having optional secrets with have been enough, and then interesting explicit puzzles that fit the theme, other then repairing the occasional forklift which is lame. Zilla's fortress is the worst example of this however. The areas are so dark and flashing, it's hard to see anything and made me watch a tutorial to blast through it as quickly as possible. The enemies are pretty bland as well. A pig looking man that's meant to be a ninja. A goblin wielding TNT, who dies and forms a spectre to hunt you down. The ogre looking Guardian who shoots fire at you. Sumo giants and Female warriors in scanty clothes and rippers, mutant looking gorillas. They all feel disjointed and out of place. I would have looked some standard footman clan or Oni Samurai to maintain the theme. Overall however the bones are still Doom, it feels good to move and shoot, and swap to the right weapon for the right job. It's too bad the rest of it is mediocre. 

How are you meant to know a ladder is behind this? The optional secrets are phenomenal, the mandatory ones not so much...

Game 136 - Genital Jousting - Week X - May 24

enital Jousting is every bit as hilarious as it sounds. That being said, it's the type of game I would be selective in who I talk to about it. Any of my friends? Sure. Colleagues? Probably not. The story stands as we assume control of a certain red penis, named John. As soon as I heard the narrator's sophisticated voice say his name I knew we'd be along for a cleverly written ride. It very much gave Stanley Parable vibes. Except instead of focusing on the 4th wall it focused on penises and innuendo. Everyone is a penis, including the females and they also have a butt. We assume control of John in his apartment. He's late, we get him breakfast, showered, dress and rush him off to work. As he sneaks in he's swarmed by a dozen penises, the morning rush. 

My boss, a penis with a suit and glasses tells me off and I get to work. My job? A dildo tester. Of course... The controls are quite simple. Left and run shifts the direction of John like a snake. You can press B to move in reverse and the butthole will suck items up. This our grabbing function, use it to get a knife and cut a cake with your butt. Pick up a brush and paint a Picasso with your ass. The front end can also use the foreskin to latch onto items or press buttons such as TVs, vending machines, etc. What's here is used effectively with a varied environment. Every scene is different with a humours action and some clever narration behind it. The story of John is that of a loser. You test several dildos before taking on a highly experimental one.... "Dear God no John that is too much please for one anus to handle"... we cut to the nearby office. It begins to quake, and not long later a vibrating John crashes through, causing all kinds of ragdoll filled havoc as he destroys the office and his co-workers space. 

After finishing a day of testing he asks a co-worker on a date. They go and have a thoroughly average time. "Why wouldn't Barbara laugh at his jokes? He was just shooting blanks". He insists on walking her home and she does not invite him in. He has a flashback to his high school where Molly tells him no one will ever love him. A recurring nightmare. These are getting worse as his high school reunion is just around the corner and he needs to get a date to "prove to everyone he's not a loser". After failing he says fuck his job and decides to go travel and become more cultured, maybe then someone will go with him. After thoroughly defiling the wonders of the world and several airports we return home. 

With an empty back account and a head full of stories John decides to join "Weiner", the dating app. He's selective at first... "get a date", then less, and eventually your objective is "get any date". Describing these dates as subpar is overselling it. One has you visit a "dirty girl" who lives in absolute filth, surrounded by flies. Another has you go to a wedding. The only reason you're there is to make the groom jealous, a poor plan. Your date objects and all chaos breaks loose as all the woman fight over the groom. After barely escaping John wonders "Why the groom and not John? Well he was strong and hard. John needs to get hard...". At the gym you find your recurring friend Sam, he expressed concern at you quitting your job and do so again now. But John ignores him and powers through the gym. He gets cut, he gets hard and decides to hit the bars. 

Then he realises he got the date wrong, the reunion is today. So he decides hit some bars and find a date. He fails at one, and gets thrown out. Then another, then another. He's thrown into an alley full of trash and then moves to another. After cleaning up he tries to get a mint. It takes his money but no mint. He lets everything go, absolutely destroying the machine. He gets his mint in the end and my god does it feel good. He comes onto a woman, a guy has a problem with it and a fight ensues. "It's a no bars held cock fight". He wins the fight... he wins. He's not a loser! Ah huh! He must go to the reunion, and beat everyone up. He goes, he beats up his bullies, and they all stare at him like he's a loser. Just like in his nightmare. He's kicked out and here he find Molly. She asks if he's okay. She asks why she said he'd never find love and she says "Do you not remember?" After too much drinking John passes out. We take control of Sam, on a stroll. He comes across John and wakes up him, convincing him to go for a walk to cheer him up. They go, together. Now I'm controlling both penises, one per analogue stick. Sam gives John a lot of great advice, like "wanting isn't the same as loving" and "keep trying, you'll find what you're after". You've made a lot of positive change John. Eventually they hire bikes, penises on bicycles, which is just absurd. The game ends on a beach as they sit there and relax soaking in the moment, two penis's watching the sunset. "Life can be hard" Sam said, "But that doesn't mean we have to be".

Game 135 - Batman: A Telltale Series - Week X - May 24

atman - A Telltale Series is a wonderful game. I did not expect to enjoy it so much. I think at the highest level the reasons for this is the game being mistitled. In reality it is a Bruce Wayne simulator, less about Batman. I would estimate you spend about 60-70% of your time as Bruce and there are various chapters where you can even choose. 

We've seen Batman 100 times; but what we've not seen a whole lot of is Bruce. I always wrote off Bruce, the philanthropist playboy as nothing more than the mask to hide his true self. But here we explore him in a way I never considered. Many of the characters this time around have been recontextualized to make Bruce's perspective more interesting, relatable and dramatic. Cobblepot is his childhood best friend; his family were friends with the Waynes. Harvey Dent is his current best friend and politician running for Mayor. As far as I'm away he's always been DA when he split into two, but this is a clever change. He's two-faced as a politician, his persona transforming long before the accident and breaking point (which we'll get to later).

Falcone is a great choice for the first villain. The local crime lord usually being Batman's first target before the super villains begin to surface. But here you can deal with him as both Batman or Bruce. He shows up to the Wayne Manor, where you're hosting an event for Dent's campaign. Choosing whether to shake his hand will send the tabloids firing; but he's also a supporter (or potential detractor) of Dent and offending him might jeopardize the long-term good you're working towards. I decided to take a keep my enemies closer approach, let the PR sort out the fallout and let Batman sort out Falcone. Selina is in a similar boat here, you actually encounter her first but I'd hardly call her a villain. More of a survivor. After the Cat narrowly escapes her first encounter with the Bat, where mercenaries are also trying to Rob Mayor Hill, you later meet her as the partner of Dent. Oh.... this isn't going to end well. She already knows, being the cunning feline she is. 

Gordon and Alfred are really the same and I think this is a good thing. There's not much flexibility with these characters and can instead be a bouncing board for how they react to your Bruce and Batman. A large through line is the type of symbol you're going to be; one of justice or fear. A anti-hero or an animal. These two characters react to this more than anyone; and the villains will often praise Batman if he chooses the violent approach. The villains here are the heroes of their own story. Here to clean up Gotham top to bottom. That includes the criminal scum like Falcone, but also the corrupt wealthy like Wayne, Dent and Hill. Here is when things get interesting. In this iteration the Wayne's had a corrupt empire with the Falcone's and Hill. This is exposed by the "Penguin" in his debut with Lady Arkham and their Children of Arkham. The goons who had robbed Hill's office, likely where they found the videos of the Wayne's torturing the Cobblepots and committing them to Arkham. 

Do you confront Hill as Bruce or Batman...

I was in disbelief and the entire game I was waiting for the "ah huh, it was a doppleganger and the Wayne's family name was clear". But it never came and it was far more interesting for it. Especially for Bruce, who was questioning the entire purpose of Batman when he did it in the name of his parents and creating a safe Gotham. It's an interesting angle and I wish it was explored a little more. They could have built it into a suit or cowl; do we hang it up? Vicki Vale is interesting reporter and proposes an interesting alternative to Gordon and getting the truth out there. All this culminates in the Board of Wayne Enterprises kicking out Bruce and who's his replacement? Cobblepot of course. It looks good for the company considering they committed his mother to Arkham so they could take their land. It makes you no less angry and motivated to clear your name. The Children of Arkham and their leader felt very generic at the start, but by the end I was convinced. It ended up being Vicki Vale who in truth was born Victoria Arkham. After she was adopted her surrogate parents tortured her, keeping her locked away in a hole under her house and so Lady Arkham was born. Using the Bat tech to put together evidence is nothing special, but it does a good enough job to make you feel like Batman. For example crawling into Vicki's hole and scoping out the drawings on the wall to piece together her puzzle. 

Throughout all this is the saga of Harvey Dent and Selina. Naturally I end up sleeping with Selina. Her character is so good her and there's something so attractive about the voice actor, it immersed me in my relationship with her and that it was special. A feeling I haven't for a while; from memory Mass Effect and Dragon Age was the last games over 10 years ago. The romance works so well and makes me want more. Harvey Dent in the other hand is very tragic. First he begins to betray Wayne for political gain. Then he has an accident with the Children and loses half his face. He wins however as they kill Hill, but its a hollow victory, likely adding to his anguish. He begins to talk to himself.... uh oh. After a tangle with Lady Arkham; Selina takes Bats back to her apartment and mends him. Of course Bruce stays the night. It's cool to explore her apartment, see her cat, stolen goods, photos, etc. Your perusing is interrupted by Harvey, who Selina had been avoiding since the accident. He discovers Bruce and snaps, going into a rage. Selina gives her a cold "I don't belong to you" and sends him on his way. I think it's extremely clever to make the players choices lead to Dent's breaking point. Not sure if it goes this way either way but my god do I not care, it's so good.

Some of the shots of Gotham are absolutely gorgeous.

Bruce has his commencement speech, steps down but not before outing Cobblepot and the Children. He's not going down without a fight. Vicki Vale commends him but not before stabbing him with the serum they've been using to cause panic, which removes all inhibitions. Now we realise who Lady Arkham is but its too late as Bruce goes directly for Cobblepot. Dent commits him to Arkham and Batman is no more. The next part we're about to be prison ganked but an unlikely hero shows up to help us. 

It's John Doe and he has a very familiar smile and green hair. He helps show us around Arkham and we must choose to ally with him, lie, cause havoc, John who has the favour of Arkham, or tell the truth and hope for the best. In return for his help he wants a favour from Bruce. I went with to start but when it ended with Zsasz, getting a non-consensual new mark from the joker, and going after an inmate I had to step in. Thankfully Alfred shows up and helps me out. The rest of it unfolds, as Cobblepot is taken down in Wayne Enterprises. Harvey Dent takes Wayne Manor. But Bruce comes to talk him down and appeal to Harvey. He does but in the end his alter ego wins over. He flips the coin and Bruce catches it, throwing it off the edge and Harvey goes with it. Very reminiscent of the 90s movie. There's a pretty gnarly crack but thankfully he survives. Harvey is still in there and it's heartbreaking to watch him tear himself apart. Making him a friend of Bruce makes it even more conflicting and when prompted with "he's too far gone" by multiple people you always have the choice to agree or say "nobody cannot be saved". Last but not least is Lady Arkham, after gathering evidence from her houses you find out what she's planning, and where she's taken Alfred. So off you go and the final fight takes place fighting your way through Arkham. It's a great encounter and ends in an underground labyrinth leading to a cathedral. You're given the choice to remove the mask or Alfred dies. I choose not to and Alfred gets one in but loses an eye. I defeat her but unfortunately she's buried in the collapsing rubble. 

Around when Dent goes crazy, Selina decides to skip town but no before stealing a skeleton key which can unlock almost anything. If it falls in the wrong hands it could do a lot of damage. She tries to make it like it was all one con, Dent to Wayne to the Key, but I see through it, I call her on it. She asks why I believe in her and I state the obvious; a thief wouldn't have helped so many times. A great ending to a great game. I know Telltale folded so it was very sad to think this was the end and I would see no sequel. But as it turns out they released one several years ago. So I'll definitely be picking up where I left off as Bruce and his alter ego in Batman: The Enemy Within. 

Game 134 - Ballistick - Week X - May 24

allistick is a game I almost put down for good. Initially I tried playing it on the Steam deck and even though everything seemed configured correctly the inputs just would not work. It feels very awkward and amateur like a student game. The inspiration however is clear, an old school stick figure game reminiscent of those from Miniclip and New Grounds. However some how this ends up being far less kinetic then those games were. 

You play a stick figure who scrolls from left to right, can jump and climb, or crouch behind cover. Using various guns or a knife for the stealthy approach, you dispatch enemies as you navigate you way to the objective. The game has some cool stealth moments, that feeling when you successfully clear a room without sounding the alarm. Or get through a no alarms level. In many levels you can choose your load out and entry point. This boils down to the "front door" with shotgun and Kevlar; the "back door" with a silenced pistol and an item that lets you peer under doors. Or a balanced approach that includes an M4 and a clippy thing to bait and distract enemies. Even though I liked the back door approach I tended to choose the front door, wanting to power on and see it through. Somehow the art style has all the trappings of a flash game with none of the charm. What could have been a modernized version of flash art ended up being lacklustre paint assets. One thing I did like was the option for an advanced reload mechanic. This had you pulling off various key combinations to reload a weapon, similar to Helldivers stratagems. This can really add to the stress in the moment and create enjoyable tense encounters that you barely make it away from. The ending is interesting.... turns out you're a clone killing clones for "someone" else's amusement and the target you're to assassinate is no different to you and its either him or you. It's a clever meta way to nod to the player, and how we use to brutalize these stick figures for hours on end for our own amusement, irrespective of their "feelings". It's figure on figure and whoever reloads quicker takes all. Of course it was I, the real clone. This was actually a cool scene with the reload mechanic and slow mo. In the end it was a mediocre but somewhat enjoyable nostalgia trip.

Game 133 - Brigador - Week X - May 24

rigador is a game I'm not sure how I came by. I watched Mandalore's video and it looked fantastic. The gorgeous level of detail and surprising amount of depth in a game where your vehicles had two weapons and one special ability. But that was well into my challenge where I'd promised to only buy games that called to me like no other. As cool as it looked it certainly didn't fit that criteria so I can only assume it was among one of the several humble bundles I bought last year when I "relapsed" for a period. I can say without a doubt, at least in Brigador's case I have no regrets, the game was an absolute joy. 

My god the detail in the art is like nothing I've ever seen. Every individual voxel, it's just so much on one screen but yet not messy. The world is completely realised, a cyberpunk dystopia run by the classic greedy corporations. You're play as the various freedom fighters and mercenaries, fighting the good fight. I didn't really dig too deep into the lore but there's a lot there, each mission having an extensive dossier. The faction art is really slick with some very cyberpunk looking insignia. I only read a few so I can't comment on a plot I not little about. The world itself is vibrant and varied with carparks, docks, industrial areas, junk yard, houses, and more; often all compiled into one map giving a sense of a larger city and planet. The detail is hard to describe; people are tiny little dots that explode into meaty chunks when you step on them. There are areas with hundreds of abandoned cars. Fuel stations and depots go up in flames if you blast them. And best of all, it's all destructible. 

Mechs are typically a turn off for me. I've never been into Gundam or Armored Core. I suppose you could classify Brigador as a mech game but its so much more. And not just because you can play a variety of vehicles from tanks to hover vehicles, cars, floating cars, cars stacked on top of cars cleverly nicknamed the "Treehouse". When playing the turning circles are essential to winning an encounter. Slow for both you and an enemy, if you can blow a hole in the terrain and flank them or camouflage and reposition, you get 2-3 shots in before they get you in their sites. Quickly levelling the playing field or ending it before it even starts. I wouldn't be surprised if this was a contender for best mech game but it's hard to call it such when the game supports so many different play styles and is so unique. I've never played Armour core or any for that matter but they seem like straightforward mobile gun suits.

Treehouse is one example of how creative these mechs get...

Sure you can go straight aggressive; load up on firepower and extra health (which is your hull). You're also rewarded for powering through enemies in the form of lapsed ammo and orbs, giving you shield and even over shields, taking a page from Doom and encouraging push forward strategy. But then you have stealth, which is incredibly viable with multiple avenues to avoid patrols, camo tech and opening shots to assassinate loyalist mechs. Line of sight is essential as you flank or use Camo to reposition behind a tanks weak point. There are many more and the further I play the more I notice they mix and match; hover vehicles that can easily turn and shoot, making backpedalling viable and requiring hit and run tactics or tanks and artillery for long range fire power. The more difficult missions make more obscure loadouts that you would never opt to play; creating interesting challenges. There's also a lot of mechanical depth you can exploit as you play. Pick the class with howitzer, find an alley and create a choke point. Start firing artillery at the mobs and lure them into your kill zone. Mechs and tanks are often fast forward and slow to reverse. So I'll have the guns to the back ready to open fire and the front pointed away from the enemies ready to reverse at a moments notice. 

Some of my favourite feels include Arlo, a mobile hover craft with powerful guns. Broodmare, the perfect mid range bruiser mech with camouflage perfect for flank and reposition. Touro, classic mech with a cannon and MG. Buckler, a slick triangular hovercraft with high mobility, burst damage and camo to boot. Zed Prime, one of the weird floating face towers repurposed. They have Otomos scanning ocular laser beams that obliterate everything, from the Zed eyes. I actually read the lore on this one and they're used as scarecrows to keep the space farmers in line. Which makes the idea of repurposing one to put the fear back into the oppressors all the more epic. Last but not least is the Buckmaster, my absolute favourite. It's not the strongest, but the howitzer travels in an arc making terrain, positioning, stealth and opening shots everything. If you're swarmed, you're done. Or just use the camo, reposition fire a shell and beams, repeat. It's even better if you can sneak up on a cluster of dormant enemies and lob a shell or two. A variant similar mech basically has the same weapons but EMP instead of stealth; and doing the one two combo of shell; EMP; shell before they can react is also fantastic. 

The last special mention for this gem of a game wold have to go to the soundtrack. There's nothing flash about it and it's perfectly ambient. The electronica soundtrack sets the perfect background to your mercenary funded rebellion and many of the tracks are just downright hypnotic. After playing Fallout 2 which is weirdly absent of music (this could have been a bug come to think of it), it just goes to show much of a different a banging soundtrack makes in a game.

Game 132 - Tormentor X Punisher - Week X - May 24

ormentor x Punisher asks what if Michael Cusack and Justin Roiland got together and said "What if Doom was a top-down shooter?". I mean you play a random badass chick in space who flies to planet "Fuck You" to kill demons. The similarities end at demons and their bad ass slaying protagonist. But the intro cutscene really feels like it was straight out of something from Adult Swim. 

After Assault Android Cactus I felt like playing some more twin stick shooters and this certainly fits the bill in terms of kinetic gameplay, but couldn't be further from the game in its theme. Demons splatter into a gory mess and a heroine yells vulgar remarks like "fuck yeah" as she pops them like a water melon. The gameplay has an incredibly basic premise. You have a machine gun and shotgun, the latter reloads the former. There are several enemy times that I saw (not sure if there are more as you progress) from basic knife wielding demons, shield bearing demons, fire blasting imps, spider looking things and more. As you progress through the level one of seven random bosses will appear. Like the enemies you can one shot them if you hit them in the right spot but that's easier than it sounds. The bosses have unique move set like a worm that will slither around, killing you on contact, burrowing before reappearing and spitting acidic puddles. Or the rat man who spins to win, a big guy who drops boulders and jumps, landing in large areas and more. It was a pretty satisfying 2 hours of fun and I could definitely see myself going back if I wanted some mindless twin stick action. I really wish there was more cutscenes and I think the game could be expanded as a rogue lite; with cutscenes interspersed as you progress.

Game 131 - Fallout 2 - Week X - May 24

allout 2 is the one every always mentions, as the best. It's openness unparalleled  before Bethesda tainted it, or so No Mutants Allowed would have you believe. After riding the wave of Fallout 1 I was excited to experience this hype for myself, unfortunately this couldn't be further from the truth and what I experienced was the most overrated, overhyped game I've ever played. But let's start from the beginning.

Immediately the introduction slaps hard; carrying the trend from the first game. It's time to leave the vault and reclaim the wasteland... but uh oh! Who's that waiting to greet us at the front door in power armour and miniguns. It's the Enclave, and they mean business. It does a good job setting up the new villain, albeit lacking the mystery from the first. We begin in Arroyo, a northern village formed by the vault dweller after his exile, joined by other dwellers who followed his example. You play his grandson, or the chosen one who must save the village by first passing the trials and then finding the GECK (Garden of Eden Creation Kit). 

Ignoring the fact that it doesn't make sense for the highly sophisticated Vault Dwellers to regress to tribals after presumably a few decades, I really dig the inclusion of tribals. I suppose you could head canon that it was a choice, to regress back to shamanistic ways where we respect, heal and nurture the desecrated Earth. It'll also make sense to blend in to escape the Overseer and those who might seek us to find out where Vault 13 is. But it's never mentioned. Oh well. I absolutely love the tribal music at the start; which oddly the music becomes very absent as the game progresses. The villagers, huts and everyone in tribal leathers is very cool. As someone who enjoys unarmed combat, it was very fitting start to my character. I can imagine the trial being very painful for anyone who doesn't invest in CQC; preferring to run past the dozen ants instead. I went 80% unarmed, 50% guns, 50% first aid because he learnt some healing from the tribe. The Chosen One role-playing started out strong. I also love sequels where you play the child of a previous protagonist; or they become central to the story. It's what I loved so much about the story of classics Diablo 2 and Castlevania. 

Just love how the Dweller's Vault suit is a religious artefact.

After getting to Klamath I immediately realised dialogue is A LOT. It feels more quantity over quality so far. I've insulted a few "civilised" people for insulting "tribals" and there's no satisfying reaction. They feel like quest and lore dispensers so far. I always imagined the dialogue choices with three to four creative choices originating here; but it seems Fallout 3 started that trend. I began to miss the brevity of Fallout 1. It might have been a tad on the shorter side by the characters were memorable at least, Ian, Set, Aradesh and Lieutenant (Super Mutant), especially the voiced characters. 

I also got a taste of my first encounters. I can't help feel like this game cheats early on; which I know it's not true. It's just severely imbalanced. FO1 felt harsh but never unfair. Here you're often outnumbered 3:1, getting destroyed by the action economy with raiders who not only have better guns but throw fists that do twice my unarmed damage (even at a skill of 102). Again in the first game, you're encouraged to run away from fights, it's a post-apocalypse and it's the same here. But when it's every single encounter what opportunity do I have to enjoy combat. The game. This leads to another issue I have with the game, the quests. I personally prefer the amicable situation, when it doesn't conflict with my moral compass. Even though I'd love to destroy the Slavers in The Den; I would just get destroyed early on and had to accept that I need to come back in full power armour (which I did, before returning to my village to rebuild with the GECK). But the majority of quests are go here, talk to X, go there, check out X, return to X. Without a single fight in between. . The Den, Modoc, Vault City, New Reno, 10-20 hours of roleplaying as a Fedex employee is just terrible. I don't care what all the fanboys online say; for the first half of the game your options are deliver this message or kill everyone in town and it sucks. You would think this was a post-apocalypse but apparently not. Venture into the Wasteland and you'll get destroyed. About half way through you reach Redding or Broken Hills and the quests pick up; and the random encounters become more enjoyable and less tedious. This is my biggest criticism; the game has major pacing issues and I'll save my second for later. For now I want to describe the journey of my Courier... uh I mean Chosen One.

Klamath - Hunt a bunch of Geckos for the town and follow some leads to The Den in your search for Vault 13 and the GECK. Not much here but it's an enjoyable first town.  

The Den - This was kind of forgettable. Slaver scum bags and a few small time gangs vying for the slavers attention. You can get in the middle of this power struggle and help one come to power, unfortunately all without lifting a trigger finger. Best part of the Den is Sulik; a cool looking tribal who wields a sledgehammer; looking for his enslaved sister. He is a cool reminder of where you're from and who you are. I just wish there was more dialogue and story with them like FNV as you never find his sister. After helping the slavers you'll free Vic who knows where Vault City is; he joins me to travel east. 

Modoc - A small but interest town with a nearby Brahmin ranch. It turns out some villagers have gone missing and there's a bunch of ghosts to the north east. After going there it turns out it's some underground survivors making very effective scarecrows that look like real corpses. They have a child with them and have told me the other missing villager has gone north west. The mayor of Modoc has given me 30 days to find the villager or they'll attack. So I travel NW; nothing. I google it and it turns out he's not NW at all he's in The Den. He's the guy that I encountered and wanted a bunch of caps. I didn't get his story so I couldn't tell the mayor. I travel all the way back and after several tedious fights I find Karl and bring him back, until to miss the deadline by a couple days. If it wasn't for god dam red herring I would have made it. So either the developers wanted you to fail or this was a major screw up. I wasn't going to reload after 5 hours of tedious reloads to get to The Den. Regardless, Modoc killed every man woman and child and so in turn I killed the major and his guard. The Brahmin farmer and his daughters attack so I put them down too. I didn't mind these ending; serving wasteland justice to a bunch of hicks. I later found out I could marry the daughter in their local church if I slept with her and she joins me on my quest. Oh well; shouldn't have killed those children...

Well this would have been nice earlier...

Vault City - A bunch of arrogant do-gooders from Vault 8 who used their GECK to create an oasis. They use the GECK to foster wealth and subjugate the Wastelanders into servitude. Seeing slavery as a blessing; involuntarily trading freedom for food and water. Vault Citizens don't see it fit to give them a choice; because the savages are too uneducated to make the right decision. At this point I started to feel like the game was trying to tell me something about slavery; but didn't have the wit to tell me what. Slavery continued by the debate amongst characters did not. In return for using their databases to locate Vault 13; they want me to to put down a local town of Ghouls who are contaminating their water with their nuclear power. The Ghouls are cool as always; decrepit and care free. They're wisely anticipating the Vault City destroying them if they continue to leak radiation. No way I'm killing them so instead I help them fix their power. In the end I repair the generator, went behind the mayors back (screw that bitch) and got access from another senior citizen dissapointingly without shedding a single drop of blood. It would have been nice if the Mayor in her arrogance turned on you and you could put her and her loyal guards down in self defence. Even the entire town if you didn't end the bloodshed there. I left old man Vic here with her illegitimate daughter and took the gruff barkeep Cassidy instead. At this point I go back to The Den and repair The Highwayman; recovering the part I needed from The Ghouls. What a badass feeling this vehicle gives and that initial music; so good. 

Redding - Not much to say here. I was over levelled originally. Seems like this would have been better positioned around New Reno and Broken Hills; not closer to Arroyo. I later returned here to cosplay as deputy for a few days; break up a brawl, find someone who cut up a prostitute and arrest them. I also cleared a mine full of Aliens. Although the aliens feel out of place and should have just been mutants, this would have been a welcome change of pace if it was before New Reno. 

New Reno - The messenger boy for The Family. There are a few highlights here; becoming a boxing world title challenging which is recognised by the families and gives you access is pretty damn awesome. Becoming a porn star but not having the endurance to follow through is quite funny. But ultimately the quests are dull and very fetch like. Go here and find out why the Wright Boy died. Go do this for Bishop; do this for Big Jesus. In the end I didn't necessarily want to be Big Jesus hired gun. But my trigger finger was too itchy that I needed to shed blood. But at least I did get justice for the Wright family. Fallout 1. Quest for the Waterchip. Fallout 2. Quest to find a cure for my jet addiction. At this point I began to really get sick of my jet addiction. Like seriously, I feel like I've spent the first 30 hours of this game hunting down a jet cure. Jet has a 50% to give you permanent addiction and the only way to get rid of it is a quest. This is ridiculous enough; but the fact that the quest is gated behind 90% Science or Doctor and high intelligence is nuts. So I have to choose between upgrading skills I might want to; tainting my build and RP or be an addict for life? Who thought this was a good idea...

Oops... If only the Chosen One new protection existed...

Sierra Military Base - I like this base conceptually. Sneaking into an old base; avoiding killer robots wherever you can to loot whatever military tech you can get your hands on. In the bowels you find a rogue AI called Skynet; because of course you do. I actually really like this AI; there is not malicious intent it just wants to see the world. It asks you to extract a cybernetic brain its prepared and put it in a robotron. Funny enough I only had good enough science for a chimp or artificial brain and I chose the latter. The AI was functioning but it was dumb it could only follow my first command; "follow". I could never dismiss it and in the end I had to end it's life. So what's this have to do with Skynet reference? Nothing. What's the point of the reference? Nothing, completely unnecessary and 4th wall shattering for no reason. I wish I had the capacity to face off against the robots but I was still under levelled. I normally don't like to save scum; but here it feels like the only way to play. Like it's an essential part of the experience or just know the exact stats you need at every point in the game which seems tedious. Even the lockpicks can be jammed; blocking you from essential quest items. When you consider this or the fact that you need 120 science to get a good brain for our AI friend (I googled it); a game that's touted as "having many options to complete a quest" is just downright false. 

Broken Hills - Here's where it starts to pick up. There's still plenty of fetch quests but the back tracking dissapears; no longer requiring you to bounce between different ends of town five times. I'm immediately greeted by a Ghoul under my wheels. He's somewhat unsprisingly cool with that, giving the imprresssion ghouls often see a lot and expect the worst. He simply asks me to move my car haha. The mayor of the town is Marcus; who created this as a haven for the unwanted. Full of ghouls, human exiles and super mutants who mine uranium for power and other towns. The quests involve uncovering a killer; requiring me to find some mutants and clear a local mine to repair some equipment; killing ants, scorpions and Deathclaw. This is how quests should be and the point that I realised this game has very few mutants compare to the first. Fallout 2 is more about mobsters, slavers and politians compared to the Radscorpions, Deathclaws, Molerats, Supermutants and The Master of Fallout 1; and it's worse off for it. As much as I love killing your average wasteland raider; it gets pretty dull after first hundred. Fallout 2 introduces very little new mutants as well; as sorely missed opportunity where they could have gone ham. The plant is the only new entry I can recall; which is pretty lame all in all. Ultimate I uncover the killer to be a super mutant who murdered humans planning to rebel; he volunteers to leave as penance and I accept. I tell a man his wife was among them and Marcus who it was. I ask Marcus to join me and off we go; a minigun toting super mutant squeezing into our highway man. 

Easily the most interesting character, Marcus sees the world as it is, grey and that there was some validity to the Master's plan. 

NCR - I love this concept - seeing how Shady Sands evolved. A peace fairing town that's the first to re-establish civilisations. Wiping out the Khans in the first game helps them thrive; and returns the daughter of the major that would now become their leader. The town looks much like its original form; but just bigger; with not much in the way of quests and I'm okay with that. The NCR is expanding its borders; looking to Vault City, The Den and Redding as potential towns but there's one problem. Vault 15, their original home is full of squatters that are making trouble. After investigating I find out its full of Khans seeking revenge for what the Vault Dweller did all those years again. (Oh man, considering they return in FNV; these guys are cockroaches to be sure). I wipe them out and make peace between squatters and NCR. Again, this is how a quest should be especially in a post-apocalypse. 

Vault 13 - Now seems like a good idea to address the tone of Fallout 2. In my mind I always pictured the progression of Fallout as Fallout 3 to 4. And Fallout 1 to 2 to FNV. In terms of writing and how they improve upon each game. That couldn't be further from the truth and in fact every game is enitrely like the other. It create a lot of subjective opinions; heavily based on nostalgia. While Fallout 2 was amazing for its time; the openness; the amount of stuff you can do and the expanded RPG mechanics with SPECIAL, perks and skills; the writing was not on par to the first game; is the weakest of those three and often fails to ground you in its world. In reality Fallout 1 and FNV have the best writing; and 1 and 3 have the best atmosphere (a hallmark of early Bethesda games). It's not surprise then that both the creators of these games bypassed 2 and looks to 1 for inspiration on the world, atmosphere and writing (with varying levels of success). In hindsight 1 might technically be the best game; considering its perfect execution in all areas (even if the systems are a little antiquated). But the grandeur and freedom of exploration that 3 and FNV allow as open world FPS RPGs do make them better in my opinion. 4 has the best shooting mechanics (and literally nothing else) while 2 I'm sure was praised for how open it was, both in RPG mechanics and its world, it just doesn't hold up and is the weakest in all other areas. The writing is more goofy and cringe than wit. Haha wouldn't it be funny if you could be a porn star; or if there was a town full of Chinese men divided into east and west or who fought based on two different dojos. And what if they laughed at your funny round eyes. Interplay because describe as a fraternity by the creator of Fallout 1 Tim Cain certainly rings true as this seemed to dominate the writing in 2 after his departure. What made bring this up? Well Vault 13 is full of talking Deathclaws. I mean on the one hand it kind of makes sense, they were recently converted. On one hand I kind of like it; they're saving people and wiping out killers, taking survivors back to the safety of the vaults. On the other hand they're talking deathclaws.... and it undermines the ferocious instinctual wasteland killing machines they are. This could have easily just been Super Mutants and better for it. The Deathclaws tell me the dwellers were captured and taken West; I've been given a GECK but after returning to the village I would find that all my people have been taken too. 

Mariposa Military Base - I do love how you're retracing the Dweller's steps two generators removed. Seeing the dead mutant remains that your ancestor put down (mixed in with some Enclave). This entire encounter was just perfect. The Enclave were forcing miners to excavate the place but eventually found out the Enclave would kill them once they were done with them. So they voluntarily dipped themselves into the Vats, turning into super mutants, fighting off the Enclave and reclaiming the base as their own. The leader Melchior is a pseudo-master of mutants of sorts; able to summon Deathclaws and other mutant creatures. Killing him nets you a sweet little Gauss pistol which I'll carry with me to the end of the game. It absolutely obliterates anything unarmed with 20+ damage and does a nice number on armour enemies as well. 

San Francisco - Inhabited by the Shi; chinese who resurfaced after the war and inhabited the remnants of San Francisco rebuilding it as their own. These are weird and out of place. As mentioned the town is split into two dojos following the Dragon and Lo Pan; mortal enemies like Sub-Zero and Scorpion who fight in the centre of town. At this point the towns feel very disconjointed. Fallout 1 was very diesel punk clearly inspired by Mad Max and each town felt like a reinhabited junk town; yet also unique in its own way due to the people and how they go about surviving (gangs, cults, caravans, cannibals, scavengers, farmers, etc). In Fallout 2 instead of asking "how do we make these towns feel post-apocalyptic" they asked what if one was ghouls, another slavers, another mobsters, another talking Deathclaws and another Chinamen. Redding, Modoc, The Den, NCR all have some coherence but that's also broken by the others. In the end it just feels like they through a lot of ideas at the wall to see what stuck; with little vision for coherence. The tanker however is pretty cool and clearly the inspiration for Rivet City in Fallout 3 (which I also adore). You help the squatters and degenerates of this misbegotten ghost ship and then you get it up and running so that you can infiltrate the Enclave's oil rig. I really like this area and how unique it feels. Considering they continue to travel the seas presumable until they lose fuel I think it would have been a cool nod if they were the original founders of Rivet City. But I can see why they didn't go that way especially geographically, they'd need to sail around South America and it just makes sense to have another abandoned battle ship. To get to the oil rig however, we'll to scavenge some parts and infiltrate Navaro for some vertibird plans. 

Navaro - Even though it's a shame the game doesn't let you infiltrate if you went here first (I was as I came south from Arroyo and past it on the way) all in all it was pretty great. We infiltrated the underground base and killed. Here we found a talking Deathclaw Xarn who's only response was "You're here to kill Enclave? Good, let me join". I left my team underground and up we went; employing stealth the whole. In the end I used Xarn as a distraction as I riffled through the lockers and found the plans I needed; walking out amongst the chaos dressed up in Enclave X-01 Power Armour. I doubt this was intended but my god if I want head cannon at such considering how freaken awesome it was. A bit of murder, a bit of stealth, a bit of looting awesome armour and off we go. Perfect quest. 

Oil Rig - Last but not least. Pretty cool encounter; I enjoyed every part of this. The infiltrating; fighting an slaughter of Power armoured Enclave soldiers. The trap room puzzle. Then the third floor with the President of the Enclave. This guy decided to tell me his master plan. As expected; they're generic Nazis who want to kill everyone who isn't them and recreate the world in their image. We find out for the first time that each Vault is an experiment for them to gather information before they leave this world. Pretty cool lore for the Vaults; still a lame villain. I like the juxtaposition to The Master who wanted to evolve and mutate to survive the irradiated wasteland. While the Enclave sees this as a threat to the purity of humanity and anyone mutating (exposed to radiation) needs to be eliminate; and the FEV will be repurposed as such. Ultimately its not enough to justify generic fascists especially when The Master was such a cool villain. Convincing the lead scientist he was wrong; his antithetical view point is opposite The Master; wipe them out before they evolve and do the same to use. Instead you make the argument on behalf of the Master, albeit a little less extreme, that whether we like it or not this evolution, these people deserve to live and the truth lies somewhere in the middle not the genocide of both The Master or the Enclave. So he agrees, reengineer the FEV to poison the Enclave citizens. As I watch their heads explodes I plant some C4 next to the reactor on the bottom floor and the count down begins. As I left I realised I couldn't leave the way I came, oh no... my allies were blocked, time to reload. After wiping out the first floor I realised a solo operative with power armour was enough to infiltrate the entire base so I left my team on the top floor to chill out with Frank. After repeating everything I did (and some severe bottlenecks FPS lag due to the amount of bodies) I came to the floor to confront Frank Horrigan. 

I have to say what a terrible boss fight. Your first encounter with him in the wasteland as he executes some randoms and it's very foreboding here he just says "no talk. me kill you now mutant" and we go. Or rather he goes, and kills me instantly in a one hit crit doing 140 damage... and this is before the five Enclave guards or 8 sentry turrets open fire on  you. As it turns out basically the only way to beat this boss is to kill the president, take his key cards, repurpose the auto-sentries and save scum until they crit (and you don't get ciritted). This is easily one of the worst boss fights in gaming. I mean he's intimidating enough but when the only viable option is to sit back and let auto sentry turrets do the work that's just not good design. Not only that; but the game touted as having "so many different ways to complete a quest" won't even let you hack the terminal with science to pose as the president.... what a load of shit. In the end I kill him and too my surprise he's not a mech. After you kill him his bisected torso crawls around before his head explodes in red gore; very comical and a fitting way for the corny comical Fallout 2 to end.  He's 3x the size of his brethren and as it turns out a super mutant. Great idea, terrible execution. 

The End - While I enjoyed the ending; the nuclear destruction of the rig; the GECK and the flourishment of Arroyo as a new bastion of civilisation as the legacy of the Vault Dweller is complete and Vault 13 joins them bringing their knowledge (not sure why the tribals didn't have this but sure). Also some of the smaller nods; like Modoc suffering for its sins, becoming extinct, NCR expanding its territory and my illegitimate son taking over the Bishops and eventually New Reno. I wish the game ended when I returned the GECK allowing me to complete some quests on the way back to Arroyo. Because in my canon ending Redding didn't succumb to a drug problem and the miners didn't tear each other apart as I help find a cure for Jet and kept the peace while the Sheriff was indisposed. Meanwhile The Den and it's Slavery did not prosper as a I returned to wipe them all out with three iron clad power armoured goons and a super mutant (didn't see that coming did ya). The evidence is right here: 

Ahhhh. I love the smell of dead slavers in the morning.

Even though they're disjointed I think the factions are awesome in a silo. Each having their own hub of cool characters and often dull, often great quests. Unfortunately overall the diesel punk vibes that made the first so great and the irradiate wasteland takes a backseat to much more dull gimmicky human factions. Fallout 1 and 2 are like two entirely different parties of DnD. 

The first is where the DM grew up on LOTR; and he painstakingly takes every effort to immerse you in its world and mythos. The second might have enjoyed LOTR; but humour takes precedence and the session is full of memes and 4th wall breaking references breaking any immersion but appealing to those there happy to have a laugh and some casual fun. The introduction to the game starts off strong for me; loved the tribal vibes and music. But overall the first half of the game has you as a glorified fedex employee; peaking at New Reno being the worst sinner (ironic as a city of sin?) before picking up in the much better paced Broken Hills, Redding, NCR. I enjoyed all the vaults and military bases; Mariposa with its whacky AI in a robot. The military base with its rogue mutants. San Francisco has a cool area with the tanker PMV Valdez; but overall the Shi are very under baked; before finishing off strong with the Oil Rig. I cannot understand how any considers this to be the best in the series when it was a very up and down love hate experience and doesn't even break top 3 Fallout games. I'm sure it was great for its time but considering Fallout 1 holds up so well there isn't much room for excuses here. Ultimately it's a victim of its own success. The first game had four or so years too cook; and you can see how the short development time and talent leakage (in Tim Cain's case; due to crunch from the short development time) lead to a heavily disjointed and poorly paced game.

Game 130 - Assault Android Cactus - Week X - May 24

ssault Android Cactus is fully home grown. I've met the developer and he's a cool guy to have a beer with, as most indie developers are. Only a certain type of person can be attracted to the idea of working out of their garage full time and hopefully making a living after a couple of years. And they're always interesting to talk to; it's one of the big reasons why I love PAX, roaming the indie booth and talking to devs. 

As for the game itself. In the beginning we're introduced to Cactus, a galaxy space police agent, as she performs a daring manoeuvre to burst into a rogue ship and take down the robots inside. Here she's introduced to the first three characters, all very well voice acted, who join a growing cast of androids you can choose to play as you work your way through the ship. The cutscene is surprisingly well animated and gives me nostalgic Saturday morning cartoons; it's not pretending to be anything more than that and I love it. Each character has their own primary weapon and secondary ultimate that recharges. Cactus has a blaster and a flame thrower. Holly, Lemon and Coral have some variation of this whether it be the blaster splits or a shotgun. Peanut and Liquorice have a cool Drill and Blade slice weapon. Aubergine has a helicopter like robot and Shiitake has a rail gun. My favourite is Starch by far; she looks cool; has a goofy care free smart aleck personality; and her kit includes a laser beam and homing rocket pods. The star of the show is easily the enemy and level design. The enemies have a wide variation from laser grid spawning turrets to robotic bee hives that burst into a swarm; and your classic grunts, fliers and brutes. The level design is awesome and the grids are constantly changing and evolving; the cube shifting into new layouts creating areas for enemies to climb up, new spawn zones and other pitfalls. All in all it stays true to the genre of bullet hells, always keeping you on your toes. At the same time it still feels casual enough that you could enjoy it with a young audience; and they get the hang of it quickly enough. The most wasted opportunity however is the power ups. There are a three kinds like freeze enemies, speed up character or add two droids to blast along side you; but that's it and it get stale after a while. I would have loved to see these augment each Android in some way and see some cool synergies. As a co-op game as well; it would have been interesting to see some difference class variations. Like a support android who can buff or create a shield similar to Medic in TF2. Last but not least is the bosses. Each one is a well designed puzzle; combining environmental hazards and a move kit in a perfect blend. They all have their own character and feel like kill machines in this world of dangerous robots. All in all in an awesome tight experience; perfect in length and incredibly impressive for what is mostly a one man developer.